Fuzzy Wuzzy Had No Hair
The druid was innocently sitting out on the balcony, sipping at the coffee I’d warmed up for him, when I had a sudden brainfart, and stopped working on my laptop to regard him.
“Can I trim your moustache?”
He thought about it for a moment. He tends to begin to look like a walrus whenever he takes a drink off a wide-rimmed cup–the wet hairs clump together in four distinct points. Our friend Mac tackled him with the scissors back in May to trim the damned thing, and I decided it was time to do so again. “Uh, sure!”
And so he sat with lips pursed closed as I went at it with a pair of scissors. It went well, I trimmed the long hairs to just above his upper lip.
“I just thought you’d like to be able to eat without getting hair in your mouth,” I explained with a flourish. I didn’t mention that kissing would be a might easier as well.
“Ahh, yes.”
And then I pounced him with the real brainfart. “Can I trim your hair while we’re at it?”
He was quite happy to go get his hair wet as I grabbed the clippers of doom, and the longest combed extension I could find. With a towel wrapped around him, I went to town. Twenty minutes later, he looked like a former Army recruit. It ended up, uh, a touch shorter than either of us were anticipating, but it wasn’t bad, just very very different. He made positive noises as he went to check my work.
“What about this?” he asked, regarding the unkept beard that had grown for three months unchecked.
“I’ll use the clippers, it’ll look as if you’d shaved the previous day.” And so I shaved around the back of the neck, along his cheeks, and left his chin hair alone, shaving clean away (as clean as you can get sans razor) the rest of his face, and under his chin.
He took a shower at that point, and kept standing in the bathroom to stroke what was left of his beard, comparing it to the rest of it. “I… I think this is almost too long,” he said of the chin hair.
I concurred. “I can quickly trim it using the clippers again, c’mere.” And took off all but two inches of the stuff.
He decided that was much improved. I’d only left the chin hair alone because back in May, when I trimmed his hair because Mac had started it, he’d said he wanted to grow out his beard, in order for me to someday braid it. But it looked good being as closely trimmed as the rest of it.
When our friend Bonnie came to pick him up for work, she stopped. “Wow.” “Wow, wow,” she was heard commenting a few times. I took a photo of him and sent it to some of his/our friends. Shorty remarked, “I almost didn’t recognize him.”
He was amused to think how the people at work would react to his new hairstyle. I’ll be amused to see what he says when he gets home tonight.
