Reflections
The year 2010 is lurking at the end of this calendar month.
I remember how astonished I felt, at age 13, to think about how old I’d be in 2000. 27 after the middle of the year?! Jeez, that’s old. I hope I have a fabulous college education and a great job by then! I wondered if I’d have a family, and if I’d still be living in my hometown. But I was mostly surprised how old I’d be.
Imagine me laughing now, thinking about my 37th trip around the sun. I still feel very young and inexperienced.
I was dismayed in the beginning days of 2009 when a couple people posted the sentiment, “2009 is fired.” People say it in rueful humor, but somehow it didn’t bode well.
For me, 2009 has certainly been interesting. I wasn’t sure how the relationship I had with the druid would turn out, there were so much newness and so many variables that had the power to disrupt and derail what we had, and I was rather looking forward to becoming closer. He’s snoring in my bed behind me, where he has slept for the past eight months solidly. Stuff happened that could have ripped us apart, but things turned out very well there.
I could not have anticipated having surgery to have my gallbladder removed, or that I’d be minus my first adult tooth (that’s still weird to get used to), or that I’d still be without solid employment. I was so sure I’d have a (running) car by now. Some things about my life dismay me.
But I don’t think it’s fired for me, if only because it would negate a year of a most brilliant relationship, and all the times associated with it.
I have hopes for 2010. A job, whether one I make myself or being hired for such. A car, to make those trips I yearn for so much. A home, where the druid and I can spread out and have our own space. The basics. Nothing extravagant, just very much wanted.
Because, as everyone knows, you cannot arbitrarily fire the year, even if you do mean it. It must expire in its own time. In the meantime, we must deal.
I am dealing. I will deal with it better when it is behind me. Because it’s thaaaaat close to being given the pink slip as it is.
Challenge yourself to Holidailies 2009 by writing one entry each day in December.
